To do

  1. Mow lawn
  2. Get rid of that fucking hose
  3. Wash windows
  4. Spay cat
  5. Dye hair
  6. Do tarot cards
  7. Pick up kids
  8. Drop off kids at Mom’s
  9. Buy wig
  10. See if small removable portion of fence can be cut QUIETLY
  11. Kinds of clippers
  12. Metal solvents
  13. Electrical devices
  14. How noisy?
  15. Flying metal chips?
  16. Danger of electrocution?
  17. Rubber gloves/goggles?
  18. Lethal?
  19. Sign will
  20. Does it make the body look really shitty at death?
  21. Get tooth capped
  22. Send warning letter
  23. Newspaper cutouts?
  24. Get kids to write it?
  25. Write with left hand?
  26. Be vague. “Certain unpleasant things”
  27. Mail letter
  28. Or drop it off while wearing wig
  29. Renew meds
  30. Investigate poisons
  31. Flammable
  32. Powders
  33. Gasses
  34. Pills
  35. Herbal
  36. Chemical
  37. Musical
  38. Ask kids
  39. Hamlet – ear
  40. Ingestible
  41. Cookies?
  42. Must look INNOCENT
  43. Research cameras
  44. Affixed to fence
  45. Propped in hole cut in fence
  46. Small, undetectable
  47. Implanted in flowers
  48. How to use?
  49. Must be REASONABLY priced.
  50. Take no shit from photo man.
  51. Remind him of ruined prints.
  52. Pick up kids
  53. Make dinner
  54. Get ready for party
  55. Polka dots
  56. Black gloves
  57. Hair ribbon
  58. Veil
  59. Bring seltzer
  60. Remind Stan of party
  61. Plan two funny stories
  62. Breathing exercises to prepare for seeing THEM
  63. Kiss kiss
  64. Hug hug
  65. Remember: NO ONE CAN SEE YOUR THOUGHTS

Jennifer Egan (1962 – ), first appeared in The Guardian, 22 July 2011.

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