Uglyisa, engineer

Your story in a few lines – when, where, why…

Well, to make it short may be quite a challenge… I’ve lived for 40 years – leaving out the first 4 years of my life that where just “training” for the real life out there. I became an adult in 4 years, and I’m still now that 4 years old “adult” with just a few scars on my skin. I have been living as a man and as a woman, and even if in my case was not a choice, I think everyone should try: it’s an interesting insight in our society of appearance over substance. [In my case, it was not a choice because I am what is defined as a transgender… but, of course, it’s always a choice… to be who you are. Or die trying! ;-)]

I lived the first part of my life in Venice and there I was raised as a boy. That’s why every time I want to take out the “real man” who is in me, he comes with the Venexian language and the manners of my closest friends there! Ghe sbiro (a dialectal saying).

What is the state of health (or un-health) of societies you have crossed over the past years?ย 

Interesting question… I have been traveling all over the world, not as a tourist but working there and, sometimes, getting my hands and soul dirty in their worlds…

Despite the appearance, Hinduism is probably one of the worse religions. Worse in the sense of the toll it takes from the life of the people who believe in it. They justify it with the Muslim invasion that almost eradicated the Hinduism from India… but I don’t think this is the real reason. To quote a famous Italian theatre artist: “No, non fa male credere. Fa molto male, credere male”. [No, it’s not believing which hurts. Believing badly, thatโ€™s what hurts a lot].

I met some of the most extraordinary people in Yemen, where I was for two years (I wonder if it was a coincidence that also Pasolini fell in love with that place) and my Muslim brothers taught me an important lesson: a good man, is a good man – Muslim or not. And a bad man, is a bad man – Muslim or not.

At the moment, Uglyisa, what is for you love? And which kind of engagement you feel necessary to get in love with someone?ย 

Love is never the problem, the lover is – lover as the person who loves. With his or her limits, expectations, needs etc. There are as many loves as there are people out there. And I would say, love is a bit overrated! ๐Ÿ˜‰

I am a very cold person… always been since a child (the 4 years old)… I never even let my mother cuddle me as a baby. And love, warmth, is something I probably need 2-3 times in a year… It’s a bit too little, if we want to build a relationship on it. Most people drown in emotions – especially if they don’t know how to handle them. With me, you die of asphyxia as there is not enough “love” to breath.

Love and engagement are two completely different things…. love is the negation of engagement, as you love with the most unreliable organ of your body… (some would say it’s the p- organ… not even the heart!). Engagement is to commit to one person, to one relation, not knowing what your feeling will be in 5 years, or in 5 days.

How is it for you being a parent? And being a son?

About being a son – or a daughter – I can’t say much… I have always been alone… both because I wanted it, and because my parents were always too busy for me. And engagement, responsibility, commitment always scared me so much that I never wanted to have one! If there are divorces, thenย child custody lawyers for hire can be hired from here!

I raised the child of my last wife… and I find to be a parent a hard and wonderful experience.

But I’ve seen too many parents not really caring about their children and just hiding behind “but I love my kid”.

It’s not for me… and if I don’t feel ready to do it, to give my life for a child, then it’s better not to have one.

A talent you have and the one you miss?

To talk. And to shut up! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Which is your favourite place to eat and the food and the drinks you love more?

I don’t really have a favourite place… and I’m just a social drinker. But I can say that pizza is what makes life worth living! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Which is your strategy, if it applies to you, to live slow?

I don’t know if I like to live slow… but I know I like to screw up a lot! ๐Ÿ˜‰ Does it count?

In the actual society we are framed by the concept of arrival… and once arrived – in a certain job, a certain position, a certain relationship etc. we just stop living. The result is that most of us have to work two jobs and live two lives to just have none left for us.

I do like to work hard, but I do also like to live “hard”… so every now and then, when it happens, I just quit my job and start again from scratch… That’s why I never made a career… but it is fun!

What have you learned so far from your (and others) life?

Not to take life too seriously… we all don’t get out alive, after all.

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