(…)
IV
The scandal of contradicting myself, being
with you and against you; with you in the heart,
in light, against you in the dark bowels;
of my fatherly state was a traitor
– in thought, in a shadow of action –
I know attached to it in the heat
of the instincts, of the aesthetic passion;
attracted by a proletarian life
preceding you, it is religion to me
his joy, not his millennial
fight: his nature, not his
consciousness; it is the original force
of the man, who in the act has been lost,
to give her the thrill of nostalgia,
and a poetic light: and other more
I can not tell, that it is not
fair but not sincere, abstract
love, not enthralling sympathy …
Like the needy poor, I attack myself
like them to humiliating hopes,
like them to live I beat myself
everyday. But in the bleak
my condition as a disinherited
I own: and it is the most exhilarating
of bourgeois possessions, the more absolute
state. But how I own the story,
it possesses me; I am enlightened:
but how the light suits?
(…)
Pier Paolo Pasolini (Italy, 1992 – murdered 1975), a paragraph from the poem Le Ceneri di Gramsci translated by Slow Words